Peloton Man

Your Instructor:
Kory Simpson

The Riders:

* LadyFake82
* CharlieChaplain
* TooTiredToTalk
* MartyFishface

Are you ready to come and join me?
Hi, just call me Kory.
You have the least wanted instructor
But that’s another story.

I got you guys by error,
My WiFi is getting kind of weaker.
I was playing Call Of Duty
But I had to take a break.

Let’s get to know each other,
LadyFake, are you a mother?
CharlieChaplain, you bring a sense of holiness to this place.
TooTiredToTalk, tell me about it!
MartyFishface, are you an artist?
Let’s get this race going before I faint!

We’re going to start off steady
I do hope you’re all getting ready,
Have you brought your A-Game
Because I can’t afford to wait?
Get your game face on!
Put on your favourite song!
Unless you’re multitasking
Then we’re going to break a sweat!

CharlieChaplain, hold it steady!
MartyFishface, don’t berate me!
If we had Skype like open feedback
I’d be shouting in your face!
LadyFake, what’s for dinner?
Your five-a-day to get to leaner?
TooTiredToTalk do you have anything interesting to say?

LadyFake, you’re an inspiration!
MartyFishface, where’s the perspiration?
Give me all you have because you’re currently in third place!
CharlieChaplain, you’ve gone all silent!
TooTiredToTalk is semi-retired,
This is not your Sunday Dial-A-Ride meet-up for a bet.

TooTiredToTalk, that’s such a mouthful!
You’re riding like your sore-saddle!
Did you know what you were in for when you signed?
CharlieChaplain, you’re so aggressive
Like the four-horsemen riding out the apocalypse.
You’d scare the life of au-pairs riding scooters in the dirt.

MartyFishface, almost there, you’re getting slower!
Come on! Get your skates on or hit the shower!
This ride’s not for the faint-hearted
And I’m not even out of gas!
LadyFake, you’ve smashed it!
Like you’re running round recycling-plastic,
You race like an olympian
Well done, now take a break!

The Outride.

Peloton Man!
Rides into the sunset!
Peloton Man!
Flies upward to the sky! (To the sky!)
Peleton Man!
Hero or heroine of the hour!
The Peleton brand
Home cycling for you and I!

Peleton Man!
Hot yoga by the hour!
Peleton Man!
Watch the time go by!
Peleton Man!
Monthly direct debit from your Visa.
Peleton Man!
Martydom surely follows for services to the bike!

– Lyrical Shorts –

Lyrical Shorts was a brief selection of mini-lyrics on Twitter.

#InAction Man

Leave Europe behind.
My WiFi signal has gone.
Driverless cars are madness!
Driverless cars are madness!
Remain in Europe Vote placards.
Messi or Brady’s the GOAT?
Who are we, bipeds short of some hope?

#Control – F

No Fake News. No dirt Teflon – Collusion’s not a legal term.
Controversy plays accomplice to a tune in a key that he never heard.
Unpack the fiction. Cleave reality, point the truth like a loaded gun.
In the media, though redacted. Disciples of the lies he’s spun.


The Queen has abdicated.
She’s gone AWOL, intoxicated.
AntRescue sent down-range
To get her ass back on the throne.
WorkerAnts indoctrinated,
Eat wood, pass on the message.
Harem Princess enthroned.
The ex-Queen’s on Skid Row.
Somewhere in Guatemala.


Retaliate tariffs, trade war!
Political points on the line.
Tourist icons made in the PRC
5G’s the lust we define. WhoAreWe?
Backdoor to social media,
Let’s the bogeyman make a steal
Touting courtesan gets the deal done
Confuse the dollar against my free will


Paranoid, society,
Conform sans your mind.
Thoughts betray your lexicon
Opinions are now a crime,
Discarded trust, buy$ the vote
Disgrace Pinocchio.
Pixar animates the boy
Nasal protrusion shows.


We, the I, the ‘I know’ I am
The seed can’t fall from the tree.
Uproot pride within itself,
Can’t I just simply be?
Kept the same, stunted growth
Acorns fall far from me.
To die to self, you compromise
the roots are dead you see.


“So the Infintiy Stones, like a buffed up Barney
I beat down on the Green Pea.
Then that fight, daughter’s boyfriend came close
Get’s points for trying.
A song plays,
“I got the power, so stay off my back, I have attacked
and you don’t want that.”
And then its too late.

#Harm to Ongoing Matter

Legal piranha swim with sharks
In the waves
And the doves can’t go public
Less it starts a panic wave.
And the Democrats are going crazy
For the truth to spear a whale.
For Pelossi’s been there already to succeed would be an epic fail.


Made perfect in His image.
Chernobyl sin brings man’s GPS to shame.
Then through the cross New Adam slaughtered.
Is life a random abstract or an accident?
So suffering was in Yahweh’s blueprint?
The R00t of evil was in bad code?


Armed with a sword.
Like Hawkeye, knives, bayonet ready, small arms.
‘Take the small tower,’ he shoots the guard dead,
An arrow defeats the alarm.
Leaps under fire, seven are slain in the charge.
White Flag, defeat. Mad Jack the Legend is born.

#Red Tape

Choking the life of me. Can’t get the help that I need. I figure not all is but going to plan.
Send an email, a prayer, object thrown to the windowill shatters and breaks through the glass.
Could I call a good lawyer, are there any not sleazy who could take me on pro bono I ask.
Seek an answer, my frustrations, like eggs boiling in water.
Time’s funny, like money, runs out.

#All Things

The envrionment restored; Under the headship of Jesus.
The laws reformed in our lands; Fulfilled only by Jesus.
The moral war for our souls; Won by the Lord Jesus.
The wounds behind front doors; Healed by the Lord Jesus.
The headline that is waiting to be told.

#Hold it lightly

Hold it lightly.
Push through.
Stake a claim.
Hid that deep.
Another simple answer.
Solves life’s problems
In three words.

#The Problem:Is Me?
If I can’t relate to you within this life.
I see a six but you see a nine.
If I have a worldview that I need to get right,
I left it at the Cross where my old man died.
Like Suduko I work out my salvation
In rows, line by line.

#The Problem:Is You?
When I thought you’d be a friend
You left in a time of need.
When I thought we’d share our bread,
You left the table.
Time is rationed the same
But your ’too busy’ is lame.
Then the problem ain’t me its you.

#TheProblem:Is us?
Life GPS we adjust to our lives.
Those ’glory’ days over, In the present, we arrive.
Our failure to connect by phone call, SMS,
Send an emoji! C’mon send me a text!
If too content do we now park the bus?
Well here lyes the problem, the problem is us.


So De-Friended

What did I do to you to make you feel this way?
Did I blank your comment on social media you had displayed?
Should I be offended?
Should I be distraught?
Whatever, your behaviour’s childish
And you need to sort it out.

Why did you call me so late in the day?
Was it to sound-off because something didn’t go your way?
Did you want my opinion?
Did you want my thoughts?
You’re starting to become annoying
And I’m going to cut you off.

Whatever happened to finding peace and quiet?
Karma is not something you find amongst false friends.
Mindfulness,deep-breathing makes those decisions harder.
So, I’ll stick to my own company in the end.
You’re so de-friended.

Why did you have to speak about me so badly?
When you know at that party I wasn’t even there?
Do you have some sort of fantastical delusion?
Then maybe I should do something with my hair?

Why should I even be around you?
You’re like some odour that just won’t go away?
You’re so clammy you make the air suffocate all my senses.
Only for you to lose all of your own to shame.
You’re so de-friended.

I can’t keep this facade going for any longer.
You’ve had good times whilst I’ve had to sit there in neural pain.
You’ve eaten all my food,
Turned up like my home’s really for you,
And now I’m going to draw a line where it falls.
You’re so de-friended!

Say Again?

I’m so sorry to be in a rush.
All my words are muddled up.
I have something I want to say,
But in my excitement it won’t go away.

Keep your attention fixed on me.
Pay lip service to all my needs.
Could you repeat what I just said?
It doesn’t matter, say it again.

Say again, say again?
Missed it the first time
I pretend.
Be assertive, you will see.
You’re standing there,
I didn’t see.
Time is precious, speak to me.

This three way conversation is a crowd.
I have opinions too, I think aloud.
It’s all a rush inside my head
So I just stand there and nod instead.

Yeah, yeah yeah, I have to say.
You missed the point of it anyway.
Active listening so as not to reply.
Leaves me standing wondering why.

Say again, say again.
There’s too many thoughts in my brain,
Please repeat what you’ve just said to me
But it’s not something with I agree.

Say again, say again!
Don’t keep standing here in suspense.
Do you even know my name?
It doesn’t matter,
Just say it again.

This Jesus In Me.


Verse 1
I was born innocent.
I became a child.
I grew into my adolescent years
On the road to being baptised.

I never knew how to do this
No-one showed me how.
Life never came with a manual,
Had to learn this in my own time.

Then through the wilderness
I lost my way.
I was flying blind.
Everyone said” It’s your life. Do what you want.”
But those words never sat right,
With me,

I see the promise in you.
I see the life in your eyes.
I see the passion in your smile.
And all the years you’ve cried.

I see a future for you prepared for.
I see a hope that will never dry.
But that’s what Jesus has done in me.
What can he do in you?

Verse 2
I became an adult.
I thought I knew it all.
I had all my plans in a file on my computer.
Until I lost it all.

I saw my health take a nose-dive.
My first breakdown saw me fall.
I had myself a bad accident
And then eight stitches for my thoughts.

Then through this turbulent time
I sought a better way.
Some people though left me behind.
But that was then
And now I am in Christ.

I see your inner child hide.
I see your soul want to fly.
I see your spirit breathe anew
And an old life to leave behind.

I see you seated in glory with Christ.
That is my prayer and picture for you.
Renewed, restored you’ll overleap your problems
But that’s what he’s done in my life
What could he do for you?


Spit Out The Locust

In my brain
Wired against my will
Dark days are these
Though brightened by deceit.
To take a word and twist it,
Turn the form into thorns.
Then force feed me until I believe it.
And then my mind is blown.

In my soul,
Tired though I must feel.
To quick to please
To slow to resist.
Another score for the beast.
To take a meaning but don’t mean it.
Take the proverbial bull by the horns.
Then lay one’s life before it.
Until all we know has gone.

Spit out the locust!
Take these ideas away from me.
Spit out the locust!
Bite the head off with my teeth.
Spit out the locust!
Wipe out the colony!

In my heart,
Now wounded from this sanity.
Morning’s red sun’s broken.
Sucks this life out like a disease.
A generation wasted,
Reality show’s nothing beneath.
Take your talents but never use them
And then your interest’s builds zero growth
Now buried like your dreams.

To Chorus

Keep your thoughts to yourself
No-one wants to hear them
Keep your words switched off.
Or let them turn them inward on yourself.

When all reason has gone.
Tell them you tried to warn them.
But wear burlap around your face
Until the judgement has gone.
Spit out the locust!

Papa Charlie’s World

You know that feeling when truth is a forged certain way.
One things means another,
The original meaning gets stripped away.
Left half-clothed in the street
To find herself in the world
But Papa Charlie doesn’t care.
He’s simply out to remake the word.

Whatever it means to you,
To me is what I thought.
Orwellian dystopia becomes your schizophrenia
The syntax of a coming war.
Right-minded thinking people
Take the context and make it their own.
But Papa Charlie offends the masses
His ambiguity in the light is shown.

So, people where do you think that this is going?
Have you lost connection with your soul?
When you reach tomorrow was the sacrifice worth all the progress,
Twisting evil into a god then to a throne?

Papa Charlie.
What is your endgame?
Consider all the outcomes.
Are you so convinced that you’re making a better world?
Papa Charlie?
Don’t let pride befall you.
Don’t put your confidence in a horse
And call it hope.

Papa Charlie. Do you know the Alpha Omega,
First born of the angels, The One called Christ Anointed,
He was seated with Him in the Heavens there before?

The Logos, the word became flesh amongst us.
Asphyxiated rhema breath, his torture
Tell me, would you go through this all again to prove your point?

Red Velvet

* Alternative Lyrics to Alannah Myles’ Black Velvet Song.

Marks and Spencer’s on a little known high street.
Pass a busker playing Skid Row with the amp in overdrive.
There’s a parent whose child has a severe chip on his shoulder.
And now it’s raining and you just want to get in and drive.

The boy knew everything, like nearly anything
As if he sold his soul to NASA.
Mensa paid his bills
But that’s not what he signed up for.

Red Velvet with that crimson sponge delight.
Red Velvet with that cult-like fan-base aside.
Like a religion that will cause you nothing but deceit.
Red Velvet, just for me.

Up in Oxford Coldplay’s on the radio.
Their wretched song is carving up my insides.
A boomer baby at the root of society’s degeneration.
War Ensemble leaves the die-hards satisfied.
With nothing to prove,
No to you, myself or to anyone.
Have my fill in Christ. In the Son he is glorified.

Red Velvet and that greedy-like desire.
Red Velvet and with one slice I could die!
Its my guilty pleasure
That will pile on the calories.
Red Velvet now! On my knees!

Every road on the way
from the depot he took was for you!
Then taken up in storm Jorge
Now what are you going to do.
spoken: (I mean what can you really do?)

Red Velvet and the sprinkles on the side.
Red Velvet and in one spoon is my delight.
Red Velvet that will leave you addicted in the street.
Red Velvet is a disease.
My disease.



From humble beginnings.
The table, the family.
With goofy-bracers and tantrums,
You act like a star.

So at school, you do time
With the bullies beside you.
Ridiculing with violence
It leaves you with scars.

Determined to beat them
Prove yourself, ‘You don’t need them’
You get your education working in pubs all the hours.
When you make it
Don’t fake it
But the grief, how you hate it.
You take your first steps
Get the call, get the part.

When they know you
They own you,
Take your art and they show you.
For what you have suffered,
Are you yourself or the part?

Then fame makes you public
You try not to fight it.
You take it for now
But it gets in the way.

Your life now, not so private
You so try to hide it
From the trolls and the haters
Your light chipping slowly away.

Then come the headlines
Your life now the punchline
Whatever truth is to the other
Is now one and the same.

So you can’t find the silence
To escape the soul’s violence
You’re now locked in a contract
Which is now fraught with your pain.

The drink and the tablets
You think where your life went
Why can’t they leave me alone
To just get on with life?
Then some sort of tragedy.
They find you, a travesty.
Another soul lost to the sophistry of lies.

Then they remember your childhood.
The kid with the bracers and tantrums
How they burned your star out
But forever remains.

A Letter To Pelosi

Lady, you misunderstand me,
But there’s been no collusion,
Have you seen The Meuller Report,
Bob says it was all an illusion.

Now you have started impeachment proceedings
Was it just to hurt my feelings?
But lady, please wake up or are you simply dreaming?

You see when I wanted dirt on the Biden’s
It was all within presidential freedom.
Putin said it himself it was not Mother Russia
And for this you call it treason?

Let me explain, there was no quid pro quo
It was all a misunderstanding.
But with my counsel involved,
The truth was notwithstanding.

So the charges are of high crimes and misdemeanours,
An Abuse of power in the Oval Office.
I’ve committed no crime,
so I sent Sekulow to stop this.

This is yet another Witch Hunt, Fake News, just like Crooked Hillary like my tan bought from Walmart along with an AR15.
I won’t ban semi-automatics, upset my friends in the heartlands
But down the border can you pass some funds to #BuildMyWall, please?

Let’s not make up and be friends
But can you please end this fantasy
No President such as myself should have to do this again.
Nancy, for the sake of the American people
Can we get back to being frenemies
Can you stop tearing up my speech,
Can we at least try and pretend?

I see Bernie Sanders is getting popular
I wonder, no, I’ll leave that for my lawyers
So Bloomberg’s running against me,
Hey Rudy, spit some oil on the media again.